What I Need Most
My heart beats at a variable amount per second
It depends on a sight or a sound or a mention
Of your name or a memory of your face
It’s all the same
It just brings me pain
And every time it beats
My love for you depletes
Not because I don’t
But because you won’t
Return to me
That which is mine
What I Need Most
And that space between us I thought we’d defy
It just keeps growing
Unknowing
We placed both our___ souls_____ on the line
| Right next to the margin So BIG a love We ran right off the page
No need to cry over yesterday
For I have, but I’m still not okay
So it’s pointless, I’ll never have my way
I’m just writing this to say
Screw you
And your inability to find a way
To communicate
Your complete and utter disgust
In us
An ‘us’ I thought
Could not be bought or sold or stolen
But here we are both victims of a similar crime
SHE broke your heart
And you stole mine
And where it used to be
Left a note saying
Wait for me
And I did
In no time
I made my mind
Believe that I was too ‘nice’ to be deceived
And that nobody on this earth who knew me
As well as you did
Would ever do what you did
Or even think that I was THAT stupid
But I was
What fools wait for a nothing
That says it is only something
When it is united with that one thing that waits for it
Pines and stays up late for it
Wondering
Is he dreaming about me?
All the while that nothing-something sleeps so peacefully
Not even moving its eyeballs rapidly enough
To conjure up a vivid enough
Image of my face
When I had already traced the lines of your smile
And engraved them right next to mine
And at this stage of the lies
All I ended up with was aged eyes
And a crooked smile
That I had to show
To hide the frown
To avoid the questions
To keep from having to reveal
How you let me down
And you didn’t even do it gently
You knew my heart was heavy
So if you just snapped the string
Between you and me
I’d fall and crash into the ground
Every now and again
You pop your head in
To my busy little life
I don’t need you here
Anymore
I do
But I want to not need you
Because needing you
Will lead to forgiving you
Which I have
But not enough to be
In need of your sympathy
So this is my plea
I love you
But the thing I need most
Is me
© 2011 Megan Lucas
